You are not alone

Ok, so I haven't posted much here lately. In case you haven't noticed on facebook - except I'm sure you have because I update my status' far far too often. I've been a little busy this month.  This weekend I've been packing up to move apartments. And last weekend I was away because I was priviliged enough to be able to work a weekend with my Heavenly Father.  Do you know why I love working Tres Dias weekends? I love it because I love being reminded that my God is a living, breathing, personal God. Who loves us so much that He takes time out of His busy schedule to meet with each of us individually - candidates and workers alike - to sort out our garbage and remind us that He loves us soooo much and He is taking care of us.  Last weekend I shut off my cell phone for three days and basked in God's glory and love. And there are no words for that.  And - confession time - I ate the campground food. Every morning I had eggs, buscuit and gravy, bacon/sausage, and fruit. I had dessert with every lunch and dinner. I ate the snacks at the tables and I got addicted to the peanuts and candy corn that when combined tase just like a payday - which I just have to say to whoever found that combination and decided to share it with the rest of us - that was very un-christian of you. And I enjoyed it! Now as I prepare to move, I eat the odd combination of foods so that I don't have to move the food to the new place (still not sure why - how hard is it to carry food from one apartment to another?!). Which means my calorie intake has been pretty high. And my time at the gym has been pretty low. So what has happened? The guilt has come in and taken away from my basking in God's joy and love. And the bad part is I let it.  But I'm taking that joy back. You know why? Because I should not be ashamed and guilty. That is just a lie that I will not believe anymore. So maybe I didn't lose any pounds this month. Well guess what. That's ok. I'll get back to losing next month. In these past 10 months I have literally lunged and squatted my butt off. I have no butt.  Not that you needed to know that about me - the point is I worked hard and am giving my body a little break to catch it's breath.  But you know what? I didn't gain any pounds either. That brings me a little relief - it means that I should be able to handle the maintaining stage ok.

I almost made the joke that I can't work any more Tres Dias weekends because everytime I come back from working one I end up with a new trainer. But I won't be giving up these weekends! Even if it means breaking in a new guy.  I love working Tres Dias because it is an opportunity for me to nail my worries to the cross and never pick them back up again. It's a chance for me to bond in a way that is never broken with other sisters in Christ. And it's a reminder that we are not alone in this journey.  We all stumble, but we all get back up.  I was reminded today that John 3:16 says that God so loved the world that He gave His only Son so that everyone who believes in Him will not perish but have eternal life. God so loved YOU that He sent His son to die for YOU. Jesus so loved YOU that He chose to die for YOU.

YOU personally. YOU period. He is in love with YOU. He doesn't care how thin you are. How long your hair is or how many wrinkles you have or don't have. Did you know when you laugh, He smiles!

Another confession time - When I was heavy, I didn't want a guy. I did because somehow it's a stigma to be single. You are incomplete, not a normal person unless you have a husband.  I wanted one, but at the same time I didn't want one, because I didn't feel comfortable in my own skin.  Now I'm a lot more comfortable, a little more confident. But you know what? Who can treat me better than my God and Saviour? Who can provide for me better? Protect me better? Comfort, care, and know exactly what I need and truly want?  I say this because YOU are not defined by having a person in your life. YOU are defined by who you Father is.  There's a song and I don't know who sings it or the title of the song but the lyrics go "there is a God-shaped hole in all of us."  I love that God designed us to need Him.

You know what I love about the bible? Everytime I read it something new jumps out at me like never before. My favorite verse is Psalms 37:4 - Delight yourself in the LORD and He will give you the desires of your heart.  You know why? Cause I may think I know what I want. What I desire. But He really knows what I need and what I should have.  Sometimes what we think we want is only what the world says we should want. But God knows our hearts, and what we truly want and need.

So I sat down to write about one thing, and this all came out. I hope it made sense. I hope it helps. And I hope to give you all hugs soon.